Seven Days of Forever
by mamasutra
Summary: Seven days was all I had with him. If seven days was my forever with Edward Cullen then he would remember them as well.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The people milled around the clearing in on the edge of the Cullen property in-between the make shift logs that have been placed as seating for the ceremony. I watched them all with fascination. It had been a long time since I had been this close to humans and while the burn of undying thirst tickled my throat, it was far from unbearable.

I listened to their whispers. The humans were sure the bride was pregnant. The thought of that made me want to laugh and be sick all at once since it brought forth the image of him touching her. Did he touch her? Did he love her? Did he hold her as close as he dared to while knowing that a simple false move would end her life? I didn't know. I didn't want to know.

"Tanya, so good to see you," I heard Carlisle call to me in his warm cordial tone that had just the barest hint of sympathy in it. It the hint of sympathy, the pity that I knew he felt for me that made me furious. I didn't want his pity. I didn't want anything from him anymore.

"Carlisle," I said with a matching smile that told a different tale than how I really felt, but he would never know. Over a hundred years of acting had made me a wonderful actress, so good he would never know the hurt that filled my empty chest.

"I wasn't sure if you'd make the trip after everything that happened,' he said with a sad smile for me that made my rage boil inside. He knew. Of course, he knew. Edward would have told him since the boy used him as a father confessor for the so called sins he had committed.

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world. I mean, Edward getting married is a day to be celebrated," I replied with a teasing grin that made him smile, but it was a hollow smile that matched mine.

"It is indeed," he replied with a grin as he held my gaze for a moment longer that what he should have. It was this extra attention that pushed me towards the break down that I had been avoiding since receiving the invitation to this fiasco of a celebration.

"Edward didn't want for you to come here to witness this," he said in a low hiss just for my ears. My nonexistent heart clenched in my empty chest with a painful pang over hearing that Edward didn't want me here.

_He didn't want you._

_ He never wanted you._

"He thought it would be a kinder not to include you at all because of the sensitive situation the two of you shared," Carlisle continued to hiss as I stood there frozen with a bright fake smile on my face as people swirled around us, unaware of the pain that was being unleashed upon me.

"Plus, Bella is not aware of the connection the two of you shared," he said in a low hiss as I flinched over his words. Vampires should not flinch. It's against our nature, yet knowing that he denied me, denied us to his precious human made my entire being clench with anger and humiliation.

_He was embarrassed._

_ He regretted our limited time together._

_ He wanted to forget that we ever happened._

"It was me that invited you since I thought it would be best to give you the option to appear and wish him well and I am so glad that you were able to do that. It will mean the world to him," he said in a louder hiss as I looked in to older vampires golden eyes. He was serious. He was solemn. He was slightly ominous. He was warning me that the darling bride was clueless and the groom wanted her to remain that way so I was being instructed to keep my mouth shut. I was not to let one know that Edward had been anything other than a cousin who I had flirted with. I was to let everyone believe that Edward never cared for me and maybe that was the truth that I had long denied. Edward sent Carlisle to silence me. How typical of him to send Carlisle to do his dirty work just like he had done before.

"Of course," I replied in a normal tone, not caring who heard me. Silence was something I was used to when it came to Edward Cullen. Silence and denial.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I missed the cut off for the No Hungry Kid fandom gives back so I decided to post it now. I will post once a week, on Monday until this story is over. **

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"How are you, Tanny?" Kate asked as her eyes followed our sister Irina. Kate has too much to worry about at this wedding and I hated being on that list of worry for her.

"I'm not going to make a scene if that's what you are concerned about," I said with a sigh as she looked at me for a moment before rolling her large expressive gold colored eyes.

"Of course you're not. That's Irina's job," she said with a smile that made me giggle as I watched our sister stomp around the grounds with a perpetual scowl on her lovely face. She was fierce. She was pissed off. She was hurting deeply. The Cullen's had invited some of the wolves that had taken Laurent's life since they were friends of the bride and as Esme had explained to us, Edward felt a deep sense of gratitude towards them for saving Bella's life from the vampire that my sister loved. They had claimed Laurent was going to kill the precious human that Edward ran away from, and Irina didn't believe them. She claimed that Laurent was as dedicate to our life style as what she was. She claimed he had given it all up for her and their love. She claimed a lot of things concerning Laurent, not that I cared at all because I didn't. I didn't care about how Laurent died or who killed him and I certainly didn't care if he was going to make a little snack out of Edward's pet, as Kate and I had come to call the bride.

"Oh, good lord," Kate muttered as she stood up to chase after Irina who was ready to lose her temper with Carlisle as he attempted to introduce her to one of their wolf friends. Carlisle was not always so bright when it came to matching people together, after all look at how Edward and I turned out.

I still can remember meeting Edward for the first time. I remembered how timid he was, how shy. It was sweet in an unusual way since it wasn't every day that a person met a shy vampire. I remembered how he watched me and how uncomfortable I made him as I flirted with him. Just thinking about how he would stutter and stammer in response to my sexually charged statements made me giggle even now.

Edward was a peculiar man as he would watch my sisters and I, but more specifically me. He would watch me with his judging attitude and hungry eyes. He claimed to be shocked over our sexually nature, yet our sexual nature was driven more from being a vampire than from anything else so I always found it to be entertaining that he would suppress that side of who he now was. I would taunt him with it. I would tease him with images of sex and lust just to see how far the boy could be pushed before breaking, yet he never broke. Instead he would just watch with lustful eyes as I bombarded him with sex and want as he pretended to be disgusted while hiding his hard cock from me.

It was on such a visit from his so called family that I took a fisherman to my bed. I wanted sex and visitors or not I was not going to be denied. I was denied enough in my second life so their presence was not going to stop me from satisfying my urges. I remember perfectly the moment that I realized that I was being watched. I could feel his eyes on me, watching me as I rode my human lover's cock slowly, gently so that both he and I experienced all the pleasure we could from the sinful act. I knew without opening my eyes it was Edward. It was always Edward watching me.

_"You like to watch," I moaned to Edward as he remained hidden in the shadows while my human grunted in response. I rode the human faster, letting my heavy breast bounce with each thrust down on the human's cock while I focused on every pleasurable feeling that filled my mind so that Edward would not be able to avoid the pleasure I was feeling._

I remember how it made the sex all the more intense knowing that he was watching me. It also made his visit especially short since he left the next day without another word spoken to me. At the time I laughed at his overreaction. I laughed over his embarrassment for watching me and for wanting sex since he felt somehow it was taboo. I laughed at his awkwardness while finding it as endearing as what he was. I had told myself that I would have time to tease him over his hard cock and sneaky, dirty ways. I had told myself there would time to explore this naughty, daring side I had discovered in the perfect and gentlemanly Edward Cullen, little did I know I would not see him again for years and that when I did see him it would be after he had been brought to his knees by a wisp of a worthless human.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! For those interested this is NOT a cheater fic. This is not Edward cheating on Bella or anyone else. Everything in Tanya's memory is that just that a memory before Edward was with Bella romantically. It would have occurred when he ran from Forks after almost killing her so there was no love connection for them at the time. Ok… that's cleared up….**

**Take care until later…..**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I took my seat away from the humans that had come to watch the circus that Alice Cullen had created in honor of the golden boy's wedding to his human. It was ridiculous and just so Alice in how the entire forest that surrounded the Cullen's house was dripping with flowers that were not indigenous to the area. It screamed pretentiousness and I wasn't the only one who felt that way I discovered as I listened to the humans mock the over the top display of wealth and idiocy that was the styling of Alice Cullen.

"Tanya," I heard the cool voice of Rosalie call to me as I felt her sit down beside me. I looked over at the woman who was first intended for Edward. She was stunning in her gown that accented her curves and her coloring with her honey colored hair swept up in a fancy do that completed the look. I had always hated her because she was created to be Edward' intended mate. She was just one more mistake that Carlisle had made when he tried to play match maker for his prodigal son.

"How's Edward?" I asked and then cursed myself as I watched her icy exterior soften over my question.

"That's funny you should ask that since he sent me out here to make sure you were ok," she said with a smile that held no pity or sympathy for me and for that I would forever love Rosalie Cullen.

"You can tell him I'm perfect," I said with a smile that felt sadder than what it should be as I repeated the words he had said to me once and I had believed him.

_Edward was awe struck as he pressed his body into mine, watching himself with wide eyes as his cock disappeared deep inside of me, causing me to groan in pleasure as he filled me._

_ "You're perfect, so perfect" he whispered in a tight voice that hinted at his pleasure and the restraint he was trying to use instead of fucking me like a wild animal as he had done before. His words made my dead heart sing. I was perfect. I was perfect for him and he now knew it too._

I wanted him to live that memory of our time together as I did each day. I wanted him to remember when I was perfect for him, not the human he had chosen as his intended mate.

There was a lull in the conversation as Rosalie looked at me, trying to determined what I meant by my message to her beloved brother.

"I'm sure he's quite happy now," I said sounding like a bitter jilted lover even to my own ears.

"You would think so, but this is Edward we are talking about," Rose said with a snicker that caused me to laugh as well. I did know him. I knew him quite well, even better than what she did, and yes Edward being happy was an impossible concept.

"He's happy enough for him, but he's still worried about everything." Rosalie said with a roll of her golden eyes that made me smile.

"What is there to worry about? He is turning her and that's that," I said as she looked at me with a funny look once more.

"Well, there's the honeymoon that Bella insists upon for one," she said with a snicker before explaining to me in a hiss that only other vampire could understand that his bride to be wanted a proper honeymoon. This incredibly stupid human girl wanted sex with a vampire.

"It can be done," I offered as I smiled a smile that was off as I thought about Edward touching this girl as he had touched me.

"I know it can," she said with a snicker before elbowing me in a teasing manner. She knew how I had been with countless human men and left them alive to tell the tale.

"I think he's just worried being a virgin and all," she said with a snicker as she elbowed me again in effort to make me laugh, which I did in a hollow manner that she missed.

This had been the ongoing joke for years. Edward Cullen the one hundred and nine year old virgin. Edward, the bumbling virgin vampire who would be lost on his wedding night to the human girl who pressured him into sex, but the joke was on them. He was far from a virgin. He had experienced lust and sex. He had tasted the wet, pink flesh of a woman and had cum so hard that he cried out from the pleasure-pain of such a release. He had fucked repeatedly. He had made love in the snow banks of Alaska. He had looked deep in my eyes as he lost control, cumming with a low grunt as he filled me with his pent up lust and broken frustration. The joke was on them since he had done all of this with me, only to deny it to our family and regret us once our time was over.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Yes, I know Stephanie Meyer did not write her story with Edward being intimate with Tanya, but I am so that is that lol! Really, this is my version of what might have happened since I never did buy the fact that Edward was all that pure no matter what he told Bella. Anyway, that's my thought process.**

**Come find me on twitter mamasutra73 or facebook Mamasutra Hornball on my page Mamasutra Moments we can discuss cannon, non cannon and everything in-between : )**

**Until next Monday my friends…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I took my seat as we were motioned to since the wedding was getting ready to start. Irina wanted to sit in the back where she could watch the wolves better since she didn't trust them. She hated them and with good reason since they didn't just kill Laurent. They killed her chance at being happy, at being not alone and that was more important that any aspect of love. No one wants to be alone, yet here I was alone at the wedding of the man who everyone was sure was made to be mine.

I took my seat with my head bowed as I thought about my placement in his life. I was his test. I was his proving ground to show that he could be loved. I was used and the worst part of being used by him was that I was also forced to never speak of it since the great Edward Cullen was above acknowledging his mistakes. That's what I was. I was a mistake; a mistake that he had made in his efforts to avoid the human girl who supposedly won his ice cold heart. I was a mistake to him and that hurt me more than anything else that had happened to me in the over hundred years since I had been turned. I was a mistake to him and that haunted me every day that I face alone while he was able to go on with his life as if nothing had ever happened between us. The more I thought about this and the travesty that was our seven days of forever the more rage built up inside of me.

I looked around at the people that were seated, waiting, expecting, and hoping that this miracle of a wedding would take place when I felt the fire of rage and rejection wash over me once more. My undead soul cried out in pain as I thought about him rejecting me after I had offered everything to him, after I had given him everything and it hurt. It hurt with the burning fires if hell as I thought about how he told me no, how he brushed me off when I asked him when he would return to me only to find out that he wasn't returning. He never planned on returning. He never planned on me at all. He just took what I offered as if it was nothing, as if I was nothing and then later mocked me over it.

_"I didn't realize there would be a problem, Tanya. I mean, you have had sex with different men thousands of times, what would make me think that being with me would be any different than any other time you decided to act upon your baser urges?" he asked me in an indifferent tone that pierced my dead heart like a poisoned arrow. _

His cold words and cruel disregard of my feelings over being that close to him rang out over and over again in my mind. My vampire memory kept the image of his beautiful face with its bored look of surprise fresh in my mind as when it happened. He was surprised that I was hurt. He was surprised that I had come to him, seeking him out, wanting him after our seven days together, but I knew better. He knew how I felt. He could see it in my mind and chose to play it off as it was nothing and that hurt more than anything else he had ever done to me.

It was that same bitterness and rage that I felt that day when I showed up in Forks to be with him that forced me to stand up. I was not going to sit in the back like the jilted lover everyone thought I was. I had done nothing wrong except want forever with a man who decided I wasn't worth spending forever with. I had committed no crimes against Edward, it was him that acted out and made a fool of himself. It was him that took and took until there was nothing left to take of me. It was him that left me hurting and alone. It was him that needed to be embarrassed of what had happened between us, not me, and he should know that.

I moved slowly, at human speed so not to gather attention from the other sheep that had come to witness the human girl promising away her mortality to the vampire who was promising to kill her. I moved with deliberate steps until I was sitting up front, directly behind Esme Cullen who merely turned to look at me with an uneasy smile.

I wanted Edward to see me. I wanted him to hear me as I sat there. I wanted him to know that I was there and he would not be able to avoid me as he married her. He would hear me, which was something he had denied me for too long now. He would know the hurt I felt because of him. He would remember when he had promised me my forever, only to rip it away from me with a casual dismissal and smile.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! All mistakes are mine : ) **

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

***All mistakes are mine***

I watched as Esme gave me another uneasy smile before Jasper turned around to give me a look of disapproval while a wave of calm obedience washed over me. The feeling was heavy and almost deadening. It was a reminder not to speak, not to act out, not to do anything that might embarrass the great Cullens, since after all I was the embarrassment here. I was the one who was a no show when it came to saving Edward's precious human from the new born army that was created to kill her. I was the evil one who couldn't be bothered. I was the one who refused and Edward knew this better than the others, even though the blame for me and my sisters' lack of attendance was publically blamed on Kate's refusal to interfere with Volturi law.

Edward knew that I was the hold out. He knew it was me that was preventing the others from appearing. He knew this and when he called me out on it during a frantic phone call demanding our appearance I told him why I refused.

_"Don't you want me to be happy?" he asked me in a clipped tone that told me of his anger over my refusal to agree to help his pet._

_ "Why should you get to be happy when I'm not?" I countered back in a hiss of anger that I could not stop as the venom of my words silenced him. It caused the air between us over the phone line weigh heavy until finally he sighed an unneeded sigh._

_ "Tanya, be reasonable…" he said but I cut him off with my words._

_ "Oh, I think you know how reasonable I can be, Edward," I replied in a taunting tone._

_ "I think you found me to be quite reasonable when I was sucking your cock and I know you found me to be exceptionally reasonable when you fucked me over and over and over and over…" I teased harshly listening to his loud gasp as I reminded him of our time together. It was a topic he tried to avoid, yet I could not forget._

_ "Does she know about us?" I asked him, but he remained silent._

_ "How would she feel knowing that the woman whom you gave yourself to, the woman that you spent hours inside of, the woman whom you fucked repeatedly while seeking a connection you were missing as you tried to curb the urge to kill her was the same woman standing at your side to defend her?" I asked him mockingly while my heart ached over thinking about our time together._

_ "How would she feel knowing that you called in your former lover whom you promised forever to before her to protect her?" I asked him as he continued to be silent on the other better end of the phone._

_ "Or better yet, how do you think I feel being called in to protect the woman you have replaced me with? The woman who robbed me of my forever? The woman who took my place at your side. How should I feel over this, Edward?" I asked him in a quiet tone as I felt the rage that had been consuming me finally dissipate, leaving me feeling nothing except cold and hollow._

_ "I can see this will never work," he said in the same clipped, detached tone that made the ache inside of me much worse._

_ "I'll tell Carlisle that you are unable to attend," he said and then ended the call without another word, leaving me once more feeling broken and used over his refusal to even admit he might have been wrong in approaching me for his beloved human._

It was the last conversation I had with Edward. The last time we had spoke in private and I was certain it would be the last I would hear from Edward until the invitation for his wedding came in the mail. The bastard invited me to attend his wedding, wanting me to witness him marrying her. It was a cold and cruel move on his part, but that was Edward. He could be cold and cruel to those around him as his beloved human already knew this about him from when he left her without protection from our vampire world. What was more amazing to me was that even after that she still was insisting on being at his side. Some of our kind called it love, but to me it just proved her insanity.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until next Monday!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The music started, alerting the guests that soon the ceremony would start. I watched as people scrambled to their seats to watch the spectacle that was about to occur since it wasn't everyday that an over a hundred year old vampire married his teenage virgin bride. Just the thought of it made me snicker and sick all at once.

I watched with impatient eyes for Edward to appear. I needed to see him. I needed to know that he was happy with choice even though I had no doubt that he was, but more importantly I needed him to see that I was far from happy and he responsible for that.

Slowly, Edward appeared. He was walking at human speed with a silly grin on his face that only a happy groom wore on his wedding day. He looked dashing in his tuxedo, but that was not a surprise. He looked dashing in anything and especially in nothing at all.

His red hair was known for its unruly waves and for standing up on end was smoothed back in a slick manner. The change made him look older and more like the human he strived to be for his pet. I watched as he fidgeted and twisted nervously as he waited for her. He looked happy. He looked like he was in love. He looked like he was at peace with himself and that was a different than I had ever seen on Edward's face. My fiery temper raged as he stood there blissfully waiting for his human love. Why did he get his happily ever after and I was denied?

I watched Edward flinch over my thoughts. It was that flinching. That indicator that he felt and heard my pain that gave me an ounce of pleasure as I sat there.

_Remember when you told me you loved me? I do._

_ Was it all a lie so you could leave me without a scene?_

I bombarded him with my doubts, my questions as he stood there unable to escape me. I watched as the peaceful look on his face morphed into a pain expression and it was then that I decided that he should relive our time together like I did every time I thought of him.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! A special thanks goes out to Nicffwhisperer for rec'ing this story on The Lemonade Stand poll for fic of the week. I did not win, & that's ok. It's always an honor to make on the poll and I thank her & everyone who voted for this story from the bottom of my heart for that honor. This update my way of saying thank you even though it's terribly short.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**Xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Edward was a captive of my memories as he stood there waiting and I was not about to let him go yet.

_You appeared at my door step shaken and hurting. Your head was hung low as you stepped inside and then embraced me as if I was the only thing you would ever need._

My thoughts continued on as I noticed as slight tremor in his hand as he brought it up adjust his bow tie that was tied perfectly.

_"Edward, darling, I'm here," I whispered in your ear as you clung to me, holding me so close that our bodies were molded together in the sweetest of manners. It was the most bold you had ever been with me and it made my nonexistent heart race as I felt your hand gripping my hips tight in your hands._

_ "I need you, Tanya," you whispered in a ragged tone as you continued to hold me there. That was all I needed to hear from you to know that you came back for me and that my dreams were about to come true. I would never be alone. I would never be lost. I would have you and you would have me. We could live and love together for all eternity. _

The music changed and soon Rosalie Cullen walked by with her face set in a perfect scowl as she held Edward's gaze causing him to roll his eyes at her.

_I took you hunting thinking that maybe a good kill would ease your mind, but instead I spent time laying in the snow with you as you explained the how you almost killed a human. You worried what I thought of you, as if I could ever think a bad about the man that was destined to be my mate. Remember how I told you that you were stronger than to succumb to the lure of human blood. Remember how I told you your home could be with me here now. Remember how you pulled me close under the brilliant sky that sparkled with stars; your body hard and tense as we pressed together under the giant sky. Remember how you kissed me, shocking me with a kiss so sweet that it robbed me of all reason and senses as we lay there together while forever stretched out in front of us._

I watched as a hollow smile graced your face for Alice as she walked down the aisle with the grace of a caged tiger. Her sassy smile was off as she no doubt could foresee me making a scene at the reception.

_Remember how we ran home that night with our hands entwined together? The smile on your face was bright from our kiss and the love that I knew had always been there inside of you._

_ "I'm so glad you came back," I called to you almost gleefully as you chased me through the snow before catching me, tossing me over your shoulder playfully while I screamed in delight._

_ "As if I could ever stay away from you," you said to me as you pulled me down from your shoulder with a grin so bright that it outshined the moon in the sky above us before pressing your snow cold lips against mine in a promise of a kiss._

**AN: Thanks for reading!**

**Until next Monday…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I watched him as he smiled nervously for his family. It was such a different smile than the ones he had shared with me. His smiles for me were lusty and confident after his initial nerves had settled.

I looked at him as I remembered how he appeared at my door step, broken and battered as if the weight of the world rested on the boy's shoulders. I remembered the pleading look he gave me as he stood there; silently ask for permission to enter my home. Did you know that my sisters were against it? Did you know that they did not want you there since they all knew your presence would end in my heart ache? I had to believe that he knew and did not care. I had to believe this since I knew they had told him so.

_"You can't just come here and give her hope to snatch it away," Kate hissed at him as he showed him to what was our spare room. There was no hiding her anger or words from me. I knew how she felt and so did Edward._

_ "I'm not doing that. I just need somewhere to go," he said in a soft voice as he was willing her to understand, while soothing me at the same time. _

_ "You know what Tanya will think. You know and if that's not why you are here then you are not welcomed," Kate said, standing her ground in a way that surprised me since she had always had a tender spot for Edward._

_ "What makes you think that I am not here for her?" he said in a calm voice that made my long dead heart leap into my throat._

_ "Because I know you, Edward; you like to have her waiting for you, wanting you, chasing you for a little attention. Everyone knows it, yet you continue to do it and Carlisle refuses to call you down on it since he's scared you'll run off like a child again," she said in a firm tone as I stood in the shadows listening to her call him out on the behavior that had driven me made since the day Carlisle introduced him to me. It was also her words that held my shame since it was all true. I did want him and he knew it. He knew how badly I wanted my forever with him. He knew his family wanted it as well. They wanted him to be happy and I could be that happiness if he would allow it._

_ "You don't know me at all," he replied in a defiant manner that was childlike and somewhat adorable for a man child of over one hundred years._

_ "I do know if you hurt her we, as a family, are done with you," Kate said as I listened, waiting for his response, but there was none. He just remained silent until Katie excused herself from the room and shut the door._

It was memories like those that told me you knew. You knew I loved you and in the end it didn't matter. I was the fool because I wanted to believe you.

It memories like those that were causing Edward to twitch with nerves in a most unvampire like manner that made me smile since I knew I was slowly getting to him with this trip down memory lane.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry this is so short, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things with this fic so I hope you understand. At this point I'm thinking maybe five more chapters until the end.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

"Enough" I heard Jasper whisper in a growl to me as I focused on the past, letting Edward see himself as I saw him when he came back to me. I wanted him to see how weak and lost he looked before embracing me.

"Mind you business," I hissed back at him under my breath as he looked over his shoulder to glare at me with dark gold eyes while trying to soothe me to the point of being comatose.

"I would think after years of living in the great Edward Cullen's shadow you would be fine with this moment where Edward is held accountable," I said in vampire speed to him as I watched Esme's back stiffen with my words that she could hear so clearly.

"How many years have you been Edward's favorite person to watch?" I continued on as I felt the sleepiness ease as his temper changed.

"How many times has he blamed you for a move?" I said with a grin as I knew my words were getting to him because they were the truth. Edward never trusted Jasper. He watched him like a hawk. He blamed him for being up rooted so many times, even though it far from Jasper's fault.

"He is my brother and I will defend him as he does me," he hissed back in anger, causing me to giggle as he showed his hand to me, telling me how much he hated living under Edward's all too perfect, watchful eye.

"He blames you for the time he lost with his pet and for the other man in her life who refuses to go away," I said with a grin we all knew it to be true. Jasper took the blame even though it wasn't his fault. He had never told Edward to run away like a child; that was just Edward's natural reaction to conflict. I watched as my words reached their mark, silencing Jasper for a moment before he looked back at me with dark eyes of anger.

"Bella is a good girl…" he started to say, but I stopped him.

"I'm sure she is and I'm not here to disrupt her or Alice's dream wedding," I said with complete honesty since I wasn't here to hurt the girl. She had her own problems to deal with and they were all named Edward.

"I'm not here to demand Edward's love since that would never happen. I'm not here for a scene or to cause one. I'm just here because why does he get away with hurting others when the rest of us are held to different standards? Why am I being painted the harlot villain here when I did nothing wrong except believe his lies?" I asked him trying to explain why I was here even though at times I wasn't sure myself. I wasn't sure why I was even doing this outside of the fact that I hoped to gain some closure from a wound that never seemed to heal.

My words must have done eased whatever anger was inside of the scarred man who appointed himself protector of the great Cullen clan since without another word he turned back towards the front to face Edward with a smart ass grin on his face as if he was giving me permission to proceed.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back in time. I ignored the soft music and the whispers that came with the wedding party. I was a woman on a mission and my mission was for Edward to understand what he had denied all along. He refused the apology that was due to me. He refused to acknowledge that he used me in an attempt to find his way. He denied that he was wrong and allowed his family; our family, to believe that I was the seductress in the mess that we had created when the truth was damning towards him.

I allowed my memories to take over as I pictured a frightened Edward at my door, begging for help. He was lost and needed me even though it took days for him to speak. I remembered how he came to me, changing my life all on a whim.

_The night was pitch black and once more I was forced out of my home. I was left to wander the snowy fields that surrounded my home, seeking out the blood that I needed and the warmth I craved._

_ It was horrible having Edward so close. He left me aching, wanting more than what he would ever allow as I watched him interact with my sisters. He truly was a beautiful boy and so innocent. How I longed to be the one to taste his innocence and see the fire in his eyes as he felt passion for the first time. It was a dream that I had for years, one that I was mocked over since as Kate like to remind me vampires do not dream, but I did. I dreamt of Edward Cullen. I dreamt of the hard line of his jaw and how his fingers would feel against my skin. I dreamt of how sweet his skin would taste and what face he would make as he came. I dreamt of forever with a boy who was all but made for me, even if he hadn't realized it yet._

_ I slipped back to my room silently, bypassing him and my sisters as he entertained them in the parlor by playing the piano. I couldn't look at him when I ached for him like that. I couldn't let him know, even though he did. Edward was all knowing and I almost hated him for it. _

_ I ran bath water, needing the feel of the hot water against my skin to warm the iciness that consumed me. It was comforting and the one remaining human trait I had in times of trial I needed the soothing calm of a bath. Once the tub was filled I slipped out of my clothes with ease, tossing them on the floor without thought or care before slipping into the heat of the steaming water. It was half submerged that I found him watching me from the doorway with a look of fear and fascination on his handsome face._

_ "You are stunning," he murmured as he stood there, staring at my pale flesh. I knew he had seen naked women before. I knew he had even seen me naked in the throes of passion, but this was different; it was intimate. _

_ I remained silent, biting my tongue as I refused to speak and break the magic of the moment as I watched Edward enter the room with little confidence and approach me as I lay in the porcelain tub. His eyes remained firmly on my breasts as they remained half submerged beneath the clear water._

_ "I have seen hundreds of women in my mind and never once has anyone ever looked as desirable as you," he whispered in a nervous tone as his golden eyes darted from my eyes to my breasts once more._

_ "May I touch you?" he asked me in a whisper that made me feel precious to him. I could not speak to tell him yes, but instead nodded in agreement while letting my mind wander over how much I had longed for him while thanking what god there may be out there for answering my long answered prayer._

**AN:**

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**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_The first night was filled will awkward touching and Edward's rambling. He was running from a human, but I knew that already. What I didn't understand was the power that this human had over him. It wasn't like Edward was a new vampire or that he had no control. He was one of the most in control vamps I knew so seeing him so shaken was alarming._

_ "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" I asked him as he curled around me on my bed. He was clothed while I was naked, allowing his hands to wander, to learn my curves as his eyes followed suit._

_ "No," he would reply in a low whisper that was defiant and almost childlike in a way while his hands eagerly caressed my breasts like the awkward, virginal teen he was._

_ I waited, letting the question that had been burning me alive fester until there was no stopping it from escaping my lips._

_ "How long will you stay?" I asked in more of a hiss of words as his fingers trailed over my belly, inching closer to where I had always longs for him to touch me._

_ As soon as I spoke his movement stopped. He froze like a cornered animal before slowly starting to circle my belly button once more in the most teasing of manners._

_ "I am here forever," he whispered to me while shifting against my body so he could face me better. He knew I needed to see his eyes when he spoke those words._

_ "You were right, Tanya. We… we should give us a try," he said in soft whisper as he looked at me with those deep golden eyes that had seen too many lonely nights, much like myself._

_ "Why be alone when we can be together?" he asked me, repeating the words I had said to him countless times before. I had no time to think of answer or if being with him was right or wrong before his lips met mine a soft kiss that was tasted of honey and a promise that I had dreamed of from this boy for decades._

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Some of you are not happy that I have chosen to give Edward a past. What can I say except for I was one of those people who read the book and thought 'Yeah, sure he never screwed around with the beautiful succubus. Of course he was a hundred year old virgin, whatever." That's just me though….**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sat upon the make shift pew and watched as Edward looked for his bride. There was trepidation in his eyes. He was scared and he should be. I could ruin it all for him and how well he knew it.

I knew better than most that he was liar. He may not have meant to be at times, yet that was what he chose to do. I knew he had lied to Bella about sex and immortality since I had spoke with Rosalie and had a laugh that Edward's expense over it, but I what I found to be more shocking was how easily the human believed him. How could she believe after over one hundred years that Edward was pure? He had tasted the decadence of human blood. He had lived as a sinner, killing at random even though he told himself his kills were just. He had done all of these things, breaking all the rules that human society held dear what would hold him back from the not so taboo such as sex? I couldn't begin to understand her reasoning outside of the idea that she must be as crazy as what Rose had described her.

I watched Edward cringe as I thought of his bride before assuring him I meant her no ill will. I didn't either. She had far greater problems being his bride than what I could ever present her with. Instead, I closed my eyes and thought of what I needed Edward to see to understand me and the anger I felt towards him in this moment.

My mind flittered over memories of his skin against mine and his moans in my ear, but that wasn't it even though it did make him uncomfortable. I needed him to understand why I hurt since he seemed so oblivious to it all. The memory that told it all filled my mind as I allowed myself to relive so he would too.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry about the delay in updating, but I am one that believes that a person can only write when the story speaks to them. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_I watched my sisters say good bye to Edward as he stood there, not meeting my gaze. He knew I didn't want him to go back. I had told him countless times with my mind and body before I even formed the words with my lips. I had asked him and each time he rebuffed my request. He was determined to go back and show that he was the strong vampire that Carlisle believed and I knew him to be._

_ "If this was all for nothing, Edward," I heard Kate hiss at him while Edward shook his head no. There was something about that act mixed with the expression on his face made him look like the guilty school boy he pretended to be instead of the age old vampire that had seen the world change in the blink of an eye._

_ "I love her," he hissed back at her, but I heard the words. They were the same ones he had whispered across my skin when we were pressed together in the snow because he wanted to see my skin in the moonlight. It was those words that made my dead heart race with excitement since I had longed to hear him say those words and to hear him say that he loved me to another was even more perfect than when he whispered it in my ear while buried inside of me._

_ "You better," Kate growled in anger before flouncing away from him, but not before rolling her eyes at me. She didn't believe him and thought I was fool for wanting to believe in the boy._

_ We stood there facing each other silently until we were alone, not that it mattered since my sisters would be able to hear every word we said._

_ "You don't have to go," I stated as he smiled a rueful smile at me. _

_ "You know I do," he countered back as I stepped closer to him, needing to smell his skin yet again._

_ "You don't Carlisle won't care and the others will be happy that we are together," I smiled as he looked away since he knew I was speaking the truth. The Cullen Clan had wanted nothing more than for their bachelor boy to be happily mated for ages so this would be a welcomed surprise for him to stay._

_ "I know, but I will care, Tan, and you know that," he whispered in a pleading manner as I felt the sting of nonexistent tear burn my eyes._

_ "I know, but…" I began as he stepped closer to pull me to him. His arms were warm and welcoming as I buried my face in his chest to breathe him in. This was the Edward I knew. He was the one who did the right thing even if it hurt him in the process._

_ "Nothing will change, love," he whispered into my hair as I held him tighter._

_ "Я принадлежу возлюбленному моему, а возлюбленный мой принадлежит мне," he softly spoke to me with the perfect accent that was filled with emotion as if he was from my home which only made his tender words all the more meaningful to me since he was now my home. Without thinking I leaned back, baring my neck for him as I had done the night before, allowing him to bite as if he could physically mark me as deeply as what he had marked my soul. Edward wasted no time accepting my invitation and soon I felt the sting of his teeth sinking into my skin before the soothing lick of his tongue along the fractures in my skin that he had created._

_ He moved at vampire speed to claim my lips with his, parting them with his tongue with more expertise than when he had arrived at my home. He kissed me deep and hard, mimicking what his body would do to mine when we were along as his tongue tangled with mine. I savored his touch and taste until he slowly pulled away from him once more._

_ "I must go," he whispered in a ragged tone that hinted at his need while I allowed my mind to wander back to last night, filling his mind with images of me riding his cock hard and reckless to orgasm as he sucked on my breasts hungrily. _

_ "Tanya," he scolded as I smiled sweetly. I feel him hard and eager against m my thigh once more. I loved how he felt against me almost as much as I loved how he felt inside of me._

_ "Will you come back for me?" I asked him, feeling needy and desperate as I needed to hear that he would be back after our time together._

_ "You are my future and all I could ever want. You are my mate so there is nowhere else for me to go except back to you," he assured before pressing one last kiss that was too chaste for my personal taste, yet still perfect as the boy who bestowed it upon me._

_ Edward untangled himself from our embrace until he was holding my hands in his. He slowly brought my hands up to his lips to press one last kiss before bringing them back down to my sides with a smile. Without another word he had taken off in a sprint to return to his life in Forks in order to wrap his up his affairs and to show his father that he was strong enough to endure the child. I watched him go until there he had disappeared into the horizon, slowly counting the seconds until he would return to me._

**AN:**

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***translation **_**I**__**am**__**my**__**beloved's**__**and**__**my**__**beloved**__**is**__**mine**_** Song of Solomon 6:3***

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**Mamasutra**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

After that last memory of him leaving me I turned my focus back on the wedding. There was no need to go over how his phone calls dwindled to nothing once he returned home. I refused to show him how I worried myself sick until I was left with choice except to go to him and make sure that he was alright. He didn't need to see me at my worst any more than what he already had.

So instead, I chose to show him how uneasy his family became when I showed up or how they refused to tell me where he was so I was left to follow his scent to the girl's house. I couldn't show him our conversation as I caught him slipping out of her bedroom window after a night of innocent kisses or the look of guilt on his face as he stood before me since I could not live through that again since it was torturous enough the first time I lived through it.

I closed my eyes as the human pastor spoke, keeping my thought as blank as I could until the image I wanted him to see was clear as crystal in my mind. It was him standing in the moonlight, his hair rumpled and reeking of the human girl. His yellow eyes hardened in to cold stones as he glared at me as if I was the one who had wronged him somehow. I braced myself physically as the memory continued on with his cold stare followed by his words that gutted me with their rejection.

_ Go home._

No explanation. No _I'm sorry._ Nothing from him, but a cruel dismissal as if my presence was bothersome. I was owed more than that for nothing else than for the seven days he believed, as well made me believe, that he loved me.

**AN:**

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**Mamasutra**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Nothing more.

I thought of nothing more than the wedding the beauty surrounding it. I kept my thoughts free of the past and instead focused on the stumbling bride and the awkwardness of the Cullen's. I paid attention to Alice and her annoying primping while wondering how long after the girl was turned until she ripped her apart for her backhanded compliments. I wondered about a lot of things, but not the past. There was nothing to wonder about. It was done and I had passed on my cross to the rightful owner since the Edward I knew could not resist self hatred. It was who was he and would always be.

I lost him and the girl in the crowd as I escaped towards the forest edge. I needed a breath of fresh air instead of rancid smell of human food mixed with the tang of blood.

"I'm sorry," I heard him whisper above commotion of the wedding guest. It was a sound that startled me as I realized that Edward had followed me out. I turned to find him in this wedding finery. He looked handsome with his hair tamed flat and her gold ring on his finger.

"I didn't realize…" he began then stopped as he took in my disapproving look. He was lying once more. He knew what he was doing and didn't care.

"I couldn't resist her," he admitted kin a weak voice, telling me what I had always known. We vampires were impossible creatures when we found our mate and I never begrudged him finding his even though I had thought that maybe he was mine.

I watched him relax a little as my thoughts told him what I couldn't say.

"I thought you were mine too," he whispered with sad eyes, admitting more truth than what I wanted to hear from him.

"I never planned on her. I want you to know that," he stated with a conviction that made me roll my eyes at him.

"I never wanted to go back on what I had promised you," he stated firmly, daring me to deny it as I watched him shift from foot to foot before me.

"It's just sometimes it chooses you. I couldn't stop myself and trust me, I tried. I tried so hard, I swear to you I did," he pleaded as I watched him practically beg me to understand, but what was there to understand. He mated with her and I was left to hurt over it.

"Stop," I whispered to him, unable to listen to his pleadings any longer just as he stepped closer to me, but it was too close. I couldn't stand to have him that close to me anymore.

"I will always love you, Tan, and if… If she had never come here or I'd never returned…. Things would be different, but I did and… she is…" he said as he looked over to where his wife sat the bridal table alone while waiting for his return. She was a lovely little thing who doted on his every word which would be something that Edward would want in a mate.

"Everything," I finished for him, causing him to give me a small, sad smile before nodding his head in agreement.

"Edward, Bella is looking for you," Carlisle called, giving Edward the excuse he needed to leave me, not that it mattered now. I had said all I needed to say to him and my heart was at ease finally when it came to Edward Cullen.

"Take care of you," I whispered to him as he nodded in response as he turned to leave me behind to seek out the girl just like he had done once before, except this time I was happy to see him go.

The End

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**As I had mentioned before, this was just I wondered about and imagined since I never bough the whole idea of a 109 yr old virgin vampire especially when he was a self admitted liar. That's me though and to each their own.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**


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